STACEY CARLSON
RESILIENT. INSISTENT. SEEKER.
MEET STACEY CARLSON
Stacey Carlson’s routine mammogram and physical exam in October of 2021 showed nothing remarkable. She was told that she was fine. But Stacey pressed on, concerned about an intermittent stabbing pain she had been feeling in her breast. Her doctor offered her an ultrasound. Stacey eagerly accepted and is grateful that she did: The scan revealed that Stacey had cancer. Her dense breast tissue had made it difficult to detect the disease – a situation that affects about half of all women.
Because the cancer was not detectable even on an MRI, Stacey underwent chemotherapy. When scans revealed that cancer was still present, a mastectomy followed. Radiation was ordered after that when pathology showed that the cancer had spread beyond Stacey’s lymph nodes.
Stacey is still in treatment and maintaining a positive outlook by celebrating every accomplishment every day, and taking life one breath at a time. She lives in New York City as a single mom, grateful for the support of her family, especially her young son.
WHAT IS THE SECRET TO MAINTAINING A POSITIVE OUTLOOK?
I wish I knew the secret! Every day when I wake up, I tell myself this is the start of a new day, and that adventures await. I take at least one deep breath. To feel a small sense of accomplishment, I make my bed every morning. For some people, this might seem like a usual thing, but it helps me to feel like I have a clean slate, like I have created a piece of calm in the chaos.
WHAT IS THE MOST DIFFICULT DECISION YOU’VE HAD TO MAKE TO PURSUE YOUR DESTINY?
This is a difficult question for me because I am at a big transition in my life. I am currently asking myself: “What is my destiny?”
WHAT IS THE BEST LIFE LESSON THAT TOOK YOU THE LONGEST TO LEARN?
The best life lesson that has taken the longest to learn is that there is no need to rush – everything all gets done in the right time. Trust the moment that I am exactly where I need to be.
BREAST CANCER RELATED
WHAT IS THE MOST POSITIVE THING TO COME OUT OF YOUR BREAST CANCER JOURNEY?
I have not finished my journey, but the most positive thing to come out of this thus far is being (re)awakened to the now. I now truly understand the importance of the present moment. It has become clearer that I must savor and enjoy every moment that life has to offer: Relish the smells, the sights, the tastes, and the shared experiences.
WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU WERE FIRST DIAGNOSED?
I would tell myself to “please remove all loose objects, secure your seatbelt…this is going to be a bumpy ride.” I would advise myself to sit with my emotions and let them go once I’ve fully embraced the good, bad and ugly; these emotional experiences are “normal” and temporary. Then I would recommend preparing a “safe space” in my home, a place I like to call a “Zen Zone” important for moments of self-care and self-reflection.
BIG PICTURE
WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE?
The purpose of human experience is to experience: to feel, see, hear, touch, connect, fail, strive, share… to rise and fall. To learn and grow. Every experience and interaction, whether small or large, positive or negative, shapes us.
WHAT QUALITY(IES) WOULD YOU LIKE TO PASS ON TO YOUR CHILD?
To be resilient and courageous. I want my son to have the ability to face his fears with courage and grace. I want him to be able to get back up when he falls, and learn from the experience.
WHAT ARE A FEW THINGS YOU THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER “GET OVER” WHEN YOU WERE GOING THROUGH THEM?
Though one doesn’t necessarily “get over” them, the experience of going through chemotherapy and having a mastectomy comes to mind. I more like “got through” them out of necessity to save my life. I had a lot of anxiety around losing my breast and having a mastectomy (any surgery, really) and never thought I would be able to accept the outcome. I am slowly (re)learning to accept and love my body, despite the scars.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LIVE AN AUTHENTIC LIFE?
To live an authentic life is to live our truth. If we aren’t honest with ourselves, how can we live with intention and be honest with anyone else? It’s very simple…
WHAT WOULD BE TOO GOOD TO BELIEVE IF SOMEONE WERE TO SIT YOU DOWN AND TELL YOU WHAT’S COMING NEXT IN YOUR LIFE?
Being an unemployed single mother going through treatments for breast cancer is incredibly difficult on so many levels. A huge amount of anxiety comes from how to keep us afloat financially and invest in my own self-care so I can heal and be well. So besides telling me that my breast cancer was cured, the most amazing thing to imagine for my son and I would be to have all my debts cleared and no more bills for the rest of my life. And, that there was some magical source that provided ample amounts of money to comfortably live for the rest of our lives.
WHAT BOTHERS YOU MOST ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE? WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE?
What bothers me most about people is hate and the total disregard of the environment. There is so much waste and carelessness. What I love most about other people is their eccentricities, how different we all are yet, ultimately, that we all have the same needs: food, shelter, love and more.