ANGELICA AGUILAR

ACCOUNTANT. SINGLE MOTHER. ADVOCATE. SELF-LOVER.

MEET ANGELICA AGUILAR

Angelica Aguilar had a bad feeling about the facility where she underwent her mammogram in September 2018. Although she had kept up with her regular mammograms for 10 years at another radiology center, she decided to go to a different location that was located closer to her work. After an extended wait for the scan, then repeatedly calling for results, a second mammogram and then an ultrasound, a radiologist coldly informed Angelica that she would need a biopsy. She consulted a radiologist at her original facility who told her that it appeared that she had breast cancer. The doctor, who had had breast cancer herself, reassured Angelica that she would be fine.

Angelica would undergo six surgeries, including a bilateral mastectomy and hysterectomy, and radiation. Today, she has been cancer-free for four years. Angelica is a proud mother of a college graduate, the Director of Finance and Accounting at Earthgreen Products Inc., and lives in Dallas, Texas, with her fiancée.

WHAT IS THE SECRET TO MAINTAINING A POSITIVE OUTLOOK?

I’ve spent a lot of my life surrounded by negative people. It always seemed so exhausting to live like them: It takes so much energy to be angry and complain all the time. So, I’ve made a conscious decision to choose happiness and express gratitude for the beauty, benefits, and blessings in my life. Life is too short not to embrace the goodness. Being positive and having a positive outlook is energizing. It makes you feel light and fills your days with joy. 

WHAT IS THE BEST LIFE LESSON THAT TOOK YOU THE LONGEST TO LEARN?

Self-love. I was the type of person who takes care of others. I was a single mother and did my best to take care of my son. In relationships, I made sure my partner was taken care of. I was stressed and exhausted, but I pushed it aside. I hardly did anything for myself, physically or emotionally, because I felt it was selfish. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my mindset changed. I realized that life is too short. The only way that I can be truly happy is to love myself first – that allows me to really love others. I learned that I need to take care of myself first and to do it for myself, even if it upsets someone else. I still take care of others, but only to a certain extent. Now, I focus on finding what makes me happy and doing that. I’ve learned to accept that it is NOT selfish. I feel so much better and I handle things better, too. I’ve learned a lot about mindfulness and being in the moment. I’ve really focused on what I need both physically and mentally. And all of this has really helped me stay positive about life.

BREAST CANCER RELATED

WHAT IS THE MOST POSITIVE THING TO COME OUT OF YOUR BREAST CANCER JOURNEY?

The most positive thing to come out of my breast cancer journey thus far has been meeting six amazing young women through iRise Above Breast Cancer Foundation’s Adventure Trips and Retreats with whom I deeply connect. During our time together we laughed, cried, and went on a wonderful once-in-a-lifetime adventure together. For the first time I felt safe and understood to open up about my breast cancer experience. Each woman related to my experiences in some way, and that made me feel seen and validated. Until I met this group, I felt isolated and misunderstood. Before meeting these women I struggled to communicate with people about my breast cancer journey because I felt like no one could really relate. These ladies can. Being. able to open up makes me feel much more alive and free. I wish I had known about iRise Above Breast Cancer Foundation while I was going through active treatment and surgeries. It would have made a big difference on my recovery, both physically and mentally. I am forever grateful for The Today Show segment about iRise Above Breast Cancer that aired October 2021; I often relive the adventure!

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU WERE FIRST DIAGNOSED?

I would tell myself not to worry about other people and to take care of myself. My main concern wasn’t about what would happen to me, it was how this would affect my loved ones and how it would make them feel. I never made time to process my emotions. I broke down once after my double mastectomy because I didn’t like the way I looked. It made my family really sad when they saw me like that. And I felt really bad for making them feel bad. So I vowed to bury my emotions and stay strong, especially in front of family. I hated seeing any of them hurt by what I was going through. Now, I would tell myself to not worry about what others think and feel; they are responsible for their own feelings. Yes, they will hurt and be sad, but my feelings matter most. I have to allow myself to feel whatever I need to feel in order to pick myself up and move on and to be stronger.

BIG PICTURE

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE AND WHY?

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.” – Mark Twain.

It is true that when you look back on your life, you always think of things you should have done. I don’t want to live the rest of my life thinking that way. So, I’m always seizing the moment! I say, take the trip you’ve always wanted to. Visit an old friend you’ve been wanting to see. Learn how to play an instrument. Why put things off when you don’t know if tomorrow is promised? I say to try to leave each day to the fullest.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO OVERCOME?

As a single mother, my greatest fear was that I was not a good enough mom for my son. I felt guilty that my son grew up without a father. To compensate for the void, I felt I had to do more. When I look back now, I know that I did my best and that I did give him a good life, surrounded by love. I was present for everything. As a single mother, there were no distractions, which enabled me to completely focus on my child. I couldn’t be prouder of him. He is a really good kid. He never got in trouble. He played sports and has formed some close friends. When he went to college 5 hours away from Dallas, I only saw him every three to six months, but that brought us closer. He graduated from college and is very career driven. He is so smart, knows what he wants from his life, and he takes care of himself by working out and eating right. He knows how important self-love and mental health are. He surprises me each day, especially since he’s still so young. But when I look at him and all he’s done, I know that it’s because I provided him with solid upbringing. I didn’t fail him. I supported him to develop into a wonderful human being.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK AND WHY?

Untamed by Glennon Doyle.

It was great from start to finish, and it’s a book that I will read over and over. Almost every sub-chapter in her book was something I could relate to, whether it was about husbands, children, or ourselves. This book really made me see things in a different light. It made me realize a lot about myself and taught me to be a better version of myself.