ERIN BYERS MURRAY

FOOD AUTHOR. MAGAZINE EDITOR. MOTHER.

MEET ERIN BYERS MURRAY

A global pandemic and complications following surgery made the already heart-wrenching experience of treating cancer an even more agonizing one for Erin Byers Murray. Diagnosed with aggressive HER2+ breast cancer in May of 2021 when she was 43, Erin wonders if the cancer would have been caught earlier had facilities not been closed down due to Covid-19. In spite of challenging treatment including chemotherapy and repeated surgeries to remove all cancer and treat incisions that wouldn’t heal, Erin says her harrowing journey has taught her to slow down and be present, living the advice her Grandpa Fred gave her before he passed away: “Take time to stop and smell the roses. You never know how quickly they’ll be gone.”

Now more than ever, Erin, a food and cookbook author, and currently editor-in-chief of food and culture magazine, Local Palate, appreciates the supportive community around her. She looks forward to expanding her community by exploring as many places of the world as she can and gathering others at any table she can find.

WHAT IS THE SECRET TO MAINTAINING A POSITIVE OUTLOOK?

For me, it has always been about keeping the people I love at the front and center of my mind. I want to be here for them for a long time to come. I want to spend my life with the people I love. So, it becomes easier to stay positive when you are focused on being there for the people around you.

WHAT IS THE MOST DIFFICULT DECISION YOU’VE HAD TO MAKE TO PURSUE YOUR DESTINY?

What’s very challenging for me, still, is having to choose between being present with the people I love most and being present in my work and professional life. I love writing and I love my work. I believe my destiny involves a long writing life. But I have had to sacrifice family time to make that possible. It’s never easy and I have had to make tough choices, sometimes sacrificing work time, other times, sacrificing family time. But ultimately, it’s about setting my priorities and sticking to them.

WHAT IS THE MOST DIFFICULT DECISION YOU’VE HAD TO MAKE TO PURSUE YOUR DESTINY?

The theme song from the Rocky III movie: Eye of the Tiger. On chemo days, I wore a sweater I had made with a quote from that movie on it: “You’re going to eat lightning and you’re gonna crap thunder!” This song is a little cliché I know, but it’s a good one! 

IF YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO WORK ANYMORE, WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH YOUR DAYS?

I would do my best to surround myself with the people I love, to travel to as many parts of the planet as I could, and to gather others at every table I can find.

WHAT IS THE BEST LIFE LESSON THAT TOOK YOU THE LONGEST TO LEARN?

I’ve learned that the one thing I can control is my own reaction to what happens around me. Life has thrown a lot of curveballs, and so have the people in my world. But now, I can handle those emotional roller coasters by taking a deep breath, then another, and then determining how I’m going to react to those curveballs. It’s a practice and one that I don’t always succeed at, but I am trying every single day.

WHAT IS THE BEST PIECE OF ADVICE THAT YOU EVER RECEIVED?

My Grandpa Fred sent me a note a few years before he passed away. At the end, he wrote: “Take time to stop and smell the roses. You never know how quickly they’ll be gone.” I was in my early 20s and living a very full life when I received the note. It struck me powerfully that I needed to slow down, to take notice of the world, and to be present. I’m grateful that he took the time to remind me before it was too late.

WHAT QUALITY ABOUT YOURSELF WOULD YOU LIKE TO PASS ON TO YOUR CHILD?

I would like my children to develop the same curiosity about the world that has driven me throughout my life – to ask as many questions as they can about this planet of ours, this experience of living, and the reasons behind it all. Curiosity has given me my most exciting life moments – I hope it does for them as well.

BREAST CANCER RELATED

WHEN WERE YOU FIRST DIAGNOSED WITH BREAST CANCER? HOW OLD WERE YOU? WHAT WERE THE CIRCUMSTANCES? DID YOU DISCOVER IT YOURSELF?

In May 2021, at 43 years old, I was diagnosed with non-invasive ductal carcinoma in situ on my left side – I went in for my annual mammogram, which is where they detected it. Unfortunately, they might have caught it a year earlier but I’d had my mammogram right before the world shut down due to the COVID pandemic so I never went in for a follow up appointment. Once I was diagnosed, I went in for a unilateral mastectomy, which is when they discovered a small, 3 mm piece of cancerous tissue that was actually Her2 positive, ER negative, which they extracted during the surgery.

WHAT DID YOUR TREATMENT INVOLVE?

With my original diagnosis, there was hope that I wouldn’t have to undergo chemo or radiation treatment but once they went through the mastectomy and received the labs back indicating that there was a more aggressive cancer, we made the decision to undergo 12 rounds of taxol, as well as a year of herceptin. I finished the taxol treatments in December 2021 and will finish herceptin in mid-September 2022.

In the meantime, during my first surgery in July, they had installed a tissue expander. But within weeks of that first surgery, I learned that they had not cleared the margins around my nipple and that I had developed necrosis around the incision. I went in for a second surgery about 6 weeks after the first one to remove my nipple and the necrotic tissue. But my incision would not heal, and as soon as I started chemotherapy last September, the incision became worse. I developed an infection around the tissue expander so in November, I had a third surgery to remove the expander altogether.

WHAT IS YOUR SITUATION NOW?

I currently have just three more herceptin treatments – nearly to the finish line! Then, in November 2022, I will undergo a DIEP Flap reconstruction surgery.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU WERE FIRST DIAGNOSED?

Take some time before you make your medical decisions. There is such a “rush to act” when you’re first diagnosed – I wish I’d given it just a few more days, a few more consultations, before choosing my medical team and scheduling my surgery. I don’t think you need a lot of time, just enough to gain all the information you can and to seek out second opinions.

WHAT IS THE MOST POSITIVE THING TO COME OUT OF YOUR BREAST CANCER JOURNEY?

Becoming aware of the incredible community that I’m a part of. People stepped up in large and small ways, from corners of my life that I never imagined. People genuinely care and want to help and that is what being in community is all about – it means being there to help when you can, and being open to accepting it when you need it. I wasn’t aware of just how much I would need it, or how much I would appreciate every bit of the support my family and I received.

BIG PICTURE

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE?

To connect with this earth, to connect with other humans, and to soak up and be present for (and aware of) all parts of the emotional experience of living.