AMY BANOCY

WRITER. BESTSELLING AUTHOR. DYNAMIC SPEAKER. ENTREPRENEUR. SERIAL OPTIMIST.

MEET AMY BANOCY

Amy Banocy went into her annual mammogram expecting a routine and uneventful exam. She was surprised when she was called back for a second one that revealed several calcifications in her left breast. The results of two biopsies revealed ductal carcinoma in situ. When subsequent scans showed that the cancer had spread throughout her left breast, and revealed suspicious areas in her right breast as well, Amy opted for a bilateral mastectomy. Pathology following surgery, which included the removal of two lymph nodes, showed that her condition was more severe than first thought: The disease had spread to her lymph nodes and was aggressive, stage 2, grade 3, HER2+ hormone negative cancer.

Amy was devastated to learn that she would need additional treatment, including chemotherapy and radiation. Despite a shift in her regimen when her blood counts dropped, the treatment was successful: lymph nodes removed during reconstructive surgery showed no sign of the cancer. She finished her last round of treatments in March 2022. Though she continues to be monitored by her surgeon and oncologist, all of her scans following treatment have been normal.

A lifelong optimist, Amy says her frightening experience has taught her to honor all of her emotions – positive and negative – and to embrace her ability to control how she responds to all situations. She says that surrender, and acknowledging the darker times, allow her to fully appreciate and feel the light.

A writer, author, speaker, and entrepreneur, Amy, now 45, lives in Alexandria, Virginia, with her husband Derek, and her three sons, Andrew (17), Jacob (14), and Zachary (9).

WHAT IS THE SECRET TO MAINTAINING A POSITIVE OUTLOOK?

I have been a self-proclaimed serial optimist since I was a child. My experience with breast cancer has taught me that the best kept secret to maintaining a positive outlook is to acknowledge my full range of emotions. By doing this, I am no longer hiding behind a facade and to give voice to all of my emotions. I am able to shift to a more positive mindset by practicing gratitude, meditation, breathing and journaling.

WHAT IS THE MOST DIFFICULT DECISION YOU’VE HAD TO MAKE TO PURSUE YOUR DESTINY?

The decision to follow my intuition and surrender to whatever happens. It’s a conscious decision I have to make every day and I am confident it will lead me to my destiny.

WHAT IS THE BEST LIFE LESSON THAT TOOK YOU THE LONGEST TO LEARN?

I spent much of my life believing that my worth was measured by my productivity or success. It took me a long time to learn, and in turn believe, that I am worthy and loved no matter what I do in this world. I am worthy simply because I am HERE!

BREAST CANCER RELATED

WHAT IS THE MOST POSITIVE THING TO COME OUT OF YOUR BREAST CANCER JOURNEY?

First and foremost, my relationship with my sister has become stronger throughout my time with cancer. We have always been close but this crisis took our relationship to the next level. She was constantly by my side and continues to be. I can’t even describe how much I love her and how much she means to me. Another wonderful thing to come out of my experience with breast cancer is that I now allow myself to feel and honor all emotions, not just the positive ones. As a serial optimist since childhood, I have always been known as “the happy one”, which I’ve now realized was often a shield of armor to protect me or a mask to cover how I truly felt. I was always looking for the positive side of things and never allowing myself to sit with my true emotions, because I was afraid it was a sign of weakness and not who people knew me to be. Going through breast cancer has taught me that it is not only healthy, but necessary, to experience our full range of emotions. Only when we honor the darkness, can we truly see, feel and appreciate the light.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU WERE FIRST DIAGNOSED?

There are going to be days that are really tough. Allow yourself to feel all of it. There is no shame in that. Allow yourself to grieve and be angry. Allow yourself to rest and heal. There are days that will be better and you will feel good. Make the most of those days. Find joy in them. Do things that light you up and remind you that you are human. Nothing in this life is perfect, personal or permanent. Remember that. Try to keep everything in perspective. You are a beautiful human.

BIG PICTURE

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE?

As Paulo Coelho so beautifully articulates in The Alchemist, a person’s only obligation is to realize one’s destiny. I believe we do this through processes of becoming and unbecoming, doing and undoing, learning and unlearning. We must learn to trust ourselves and our intuition, to follow the signs that are sometimes right in front of us and to become untethered from the outcome of the adventures these clues send us on. We are always exactly where and as we should be at any moment.

WHAT IS THE SONG, BOOK OR MOVIE THAT WOULD BE YOUR LIFE’S THEME OR ANTHEM?

Ever since I was a young girl, John Lennon’s IMAGINE has been my theme. I have always believed, and still do, that if we could all see each other as humans, as equals, the world would come together as a much more beautiful, peaceful space. I may not be able to change the world, but I do strive to practice this through small acts every day.

WHAT IS THE BEST PIECE OF ADVICE THAT YOU EVER RECEIVED?

Nothing has meaning, unless you give it meaning. People are going to say things that may upset you or hurt you. You will encounter life experiences that do not go as you wanted. These are facts of life. However, the impact of those experiences lies with us. We get to choose how people’s words and actions impact us, negatively or positively. We get to decide how we react and respond. We may not be able to control their choices and actions, but we most definitely can control our own. Someone can say something nasty to me and it is up to me whether I want to give it any meaning.